This is a warning to all you unfortunate souls who might chance upon meeting me

The reason I don’t like meeting new people and making new friends is that first and foremost these encounters tend to drain me like PokémonGo drains my cellphone. I also get the distinct feeling that other people tend to find me either boring or weird; depending on which mood I’m in.

(So, naturally, the thought of university fills me with dread, but that’s beside the point.)

Anyways, in case any one of you is unfortunate enough to find me sitting next to them on the bus, here are some pointers on how I tend to act so you know what you’re getting into and can mentally prepare yourself:

I am totally ok with silence. If there happens to be a lull in our conversation (and there will be a lull, trust me) I won’t attempt desperate measures to avoid them. The only awkward silence I know is when the other person is so uncomfortable and so intent on filling aforementioned silence that I can actually feel the awkwardness radiating off them.

I’m quiet. If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked me to repeat that please….

but at the same time I can morph into a loud, swear-wordy biscotti in the blink of an eye when you stumble across a topic I am passionate about (e.g.: the §%&&* construction site next door, feminism, the neighbor who smokes directly under my window, the Austrian school system, my old class, world hunger and mosquitoes just to name a few)

I laugh waaaay to easily and at the most ridiculous things. My brother once kept me perfectly entertained all day long just by saying “liver pâté”. (In my defense it was the way he said it that cracked me up)

I cannot. I repeat cannot take a hint (I think I get that from my dad). Seriously, if you want to tell me something, just tell me. I’m a big girl, whatever it is I can take it.

sarcasm is my best friend.

 

Or you can just avoid me altogether; that’s always a fail-safe option b.

 

4 thoughts on “This is a warning to all you unfortunate souls who might chance upon meeting me

  1. Ohmygosh, people are always asking me, “What?” “What did you say?” I guess that’s my problem but honestly, ya could try LISTENING, ya know.
    What annoys me more is that people always interrupt/talk over me. I’m just like, well oooooookaaaaaay then, obviously what you have to say is more important. As someone who is not super talkative unless you bring up dogs, that just discourages me from talking even more. It’s my voice, though, I’m sure. I talk quietly, and the choir director always tells me to open my mouth and SING LOUDER.

    • Yes oh my gosh YES!! Everything you just said resonates deeply within my soul!!!!

  2. We should really form a Don’t-bother-us club! Give noise-cancelling headphones instead of membership cards. I’ve taken to carrying huge books around to discourage people from randomly talking to me (which happens for often than I care for). Trust me, nothing quite burying your nose to Spencer’s “Fairy Queen” to keep people away. ;) But don’t worry about uni. Pretty much everyone feels like this the first few weeks. And the quieter people do tend to gravitate towards one another and create little pockets of peace and blissful silence.

    • Haha yes please!!
      True, I do the same. ?
      Yeah I guess you’re right… I’m still a tad nervous though.

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