1. As soon as I find the time
Words, phrases, sentences and ideas swirl around in your head and you want to sit down and sort them out so much; so very, very much. However, the two essays due this Thursday won’t write themselves. Also, don’t forget about those chemical equations you have to get done by midnight (online homework really can be a pain) and– oh shoot! Don’t you have an exam on Friday too!!?
2. As soon as I find the strength
Snippets of possible blog posts dance before your eyes but you’re too tired to see them clearly (or to care).
3. The curse of the blinking cursor
Everything is in place.
A cup of coffee stands to your left, a glass of water to your right.
The lights are dimmed, the curtains drawn and your scented candle flickers pleasantly in the corner of your eye. You can hardly wait to get started; your motivation threatens to burst through its seams.
The whole world seems to be holding its breath. The naked page stares back at you; mocking you. Your mind is as empty as the page in front of you.
4. Relocation resuscitation
Go to a coffee shop, they said.
It will be fun, they said.
Well, they weren’t entirely wrong. Up until moments ago you felt very excited, very chic. But now as you sit at your table, absent mindedly blowing into your mug, you feel silly, pretentious-y, wannabe-y.
You rack your brain for something to write but come up empty handed. You decide to start simply and start describing your environment.
The lady next to you keeps glancing at your notebook. Awkwardly you shift your hand to cover what you wrote.
This is uncomfortable.
5. Well fudge you too.
You hear a whisper of an idea.
You drop everything you’re doing.
Books clatter to the floor, some coins jingle across the corridor. You scramble about looking for a pen, pen, pen, PAPER! You half sit, half lie on the ground.
You’ve never been more ready.
You’ve never felt more betrayed; the epiphany is gone.
The voices in your head jeer.
Optional: banging your head against a table, screaming into your pillow. Readers are encouraged to come up with alternatives.