I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different :)

You know, as a teenager I keep changing my mind. (Ok, maybe it’s just me… Just…Go with it, ok?)

I change my mind about which T-Shirt is my favorite. I constantly have a different singer or music style I adore. I’ve switched from dream job to dream job more often than you can say “Quidditch”. (Anyone get the Harry Potter reference? ) I’ve repeatedly decided I want to stop with this blog only to write a new post 2 days later. My need for a best friend constantly varies. I have a gazillion cities I want to live in when I grow up.

Ok, I think you get my point. :smile: 

Anyways I used to be terrified of change and all those changes, especially the ones concerning my future. They would freak me out and I would become all panicky and scared. I had to have a plan for the future!! I needed a strict set of steps I could follow and if I did everything accordingly all would be perfect in the end. Whenever this wasn’t the case, whenever there wasn’t a precise agenda I could lean on to, I felt like I was drifting aimlessly in the dark.

What I’m trying to say is, the more I glide toward my 18th birthday (5th April, presents are more than welcome wink :tongue: heart ) I realize everything falls into place on it’s own. Does that make any sense??

Here, let me give you an example: The dream job I had fix my mind on wasn’t making me happy and excited anymore, however I refused to budge from the path I had so carefully constructed. Then one day my mom brought home the box set of Grey’s Anatomy (of course I had to start watching immediately, the safety of the world depended on it) and as I watched all those doctors, intern, nurses and whatnot bustle around I felt my heart expand and I started to feel all light and happy. That was when I just knew that medicine was the right thing for me.

A similar thing happened with my dream home town. I knew I didn’t want to stay in Austria (even though it’s beautiful, the weather just depresses me too much) I desperately researched this town and that, countries in the north, countries in the south, big cities, small cities…. But whatever I found just didn’t seem right, you know?

Then a couple of weeks ago I was flipping through a magazine, I don’t remember why it was featured in there, but I came across an article about New Zealand. (I think it was something about having more sheep than humans…)

sheepimage2

I felt the swelling in my heart again and now I know, I know (bold, italic and, underlined for extra emphases  :wink: ) I want to at least try living in New Zealand. I can’t really explain it… Just this feeling. This deep satisfaction and… peace (?) as if I finally have at least a rough picture of where I belong.

Who knows, maybe I end up being a politician in Bratislava, but somehow I’m ok with that….

I’m finally not terrified of change anymore.

:smile: 

 

5 thoughts on “I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different :)

  1. YAY NEW ZEALAND! :D

    • WHOOOOAW!!! THE PLACE WHERE I FINALLY GET TO MEET YOU IN PERSON!! (Don’t you dare move away!!!

      • hahhhaha i’ll probably be here for a while :)

  2. Awww I thought this was so sweet :) I’ve often found myself unsure of myself/whether or not a change I’m making will lead me in the right direction. I think that all of us get that way sometimes. But I think that finding those things that make our heart swell has to at least be a sign that we’re doing something well! <3

    (also, I thought your writing was very good, Your voice really came through!)

    • Thank you so much!!! I… You don’t know what those words mean to me…. Thank you <3

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