Today should be the perfect day.
It’s my birthday, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the trees carry tiny green blossoms.
Sure, it’s early in the morning.
Sure, I have to go to school and present my graduation essay to panel of serious looking people.
Sure, I’m nervous like never before.♥
I was going to write a post on how happy I was but then I realized how much I’ve been fooling myself.
I’m not happy.
I’m tired yet a can’t sleep.
My eyes feel like bruises in my face.
My legs ache though I couldn’t tell you why.
The thought of school causes thumping in my brain.♥
I’m scared this blog is going to die.
But I don’t want it to.
I need this blog so much.
I love blogging regularly and staying up till all hours to finish a post.
I love taking pictures.
I love interacting with you.
But I just can’t write anymore.
So I just spent the last 2 hours jumping from one link to the next (don’t judge me, you know how easily that happens tongue ) looking for something, anything that’ll make me feel less like a total blog failure.
What I found very really good tips, but made me feel even worse because I was forced to realize what a noobie I am.♥
And then the world ended.
Or at least my family as I know it.
My mom goes cold turkey, staring around wild eyed unsure what to do with herself while endlessly searching for something she can’t find.
My dad goes into hand on hand combat with the machine muttering profanities, his eyes blurry, his hair a mess.♥
I can’t sleep.
So my life pretty much sucks right now…
PM (no wait that’s AM now right? Jeesh you american’s need to update your clock system!) which I know is not terribly late but considering I have to get up at 6.00 AM again I better start counting sheep….and pronto!♥
You know what really ticks me off about school? (Aside from the obvious that is.)
I wake up almost every day and I have all these ideas for a story or a blog post, but I never get around to writing them down, because when I do, I’m late!!!
I know I could wake up earlier and MAKE the time, but that would mean waking up at 5:30 in the morning!!!!♥
It finally happened!! It finally truly happened!!!
My dad, the complete, utter, most wonderful idiot I love, bought me my OWN MOTHER FUDGING SELF FREAKING HOSTED SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I’m going to pause for a moment to let that sink in…..)
I know.. I know… freaking MIND BLOWING I actually had to bite my knuckle from screaming like a bangee (I believe that is a monkey…?), trying to keep my happiness on a more socially excepted level mind you wink
But I’m also sorta scared.♥
First off, I’d like to thank all you wonderful people for the sweet words you left me on my last few posts!!!
I’m really sorry for not replying, it’s just whenever I start thinking about a nice way to respond my brain goes all mushy and blank…. So I figured it was better not to answer and seem all mysterious and busy with my awesome and buzzing life (haha, can’t even say it with a straight face) instead of puking jumbled up words back at you… (Ain’t that just like the most beautiful metaphor you have ever heard..?)
My point (and yes I do have one): Thank you very much for your kind and encouraging comments and I swear I’m reading them and I appreciate them so, SO much!!!!♥