Perks of being a single child

Just to clarify #1: No, I don’t mean my relationship statues although that would be accurate as well.

Jtc #2: My brother is still very much alive, he’s just staying with a friend to celebrate their first week of summer holiday.

Even though I don’t want to be a single (or is it only?) child forever (who’d play Mario Cart with me!?) I have noticed the occasional perk:

♣ having the ice cream tub all to myself

♣ getting to watch Sex and the City and Pretty Woman whenever I want

althooooough there is a slight downside: 

♣ when mom’s off to work I can crank up the music as loud as I want and sing at the top of my voice (there has been the occasional complaint from the neighbors though…..

Hell was full so I’m back :)

Y’all it’s been too long.

Way too long.

In my defense (which isn’t very good) I’ve been super busy.

During my spontaneous period of absence I’ve *takes big gulp of air* studied for my graduation exams, written my graduation exams, passed, finally graduated, studied for the European version of the MCAT, taken a course on how to pass the bloody MCAT, written the MCAT and was shipped off to London because my mom had two meetings there this month and didn’t want to leave my brother and I alone for a whole week.

5 moments in my life when I wished I were somewhere else

Don’t worry I won’t use the oblivious: “that one time I found out my dad died” that would just be boring wink

(Please note, for this and every post yet to come:  I have a twisted kind of humor, especially concerning anything related to the death of my dad. My mom thinks it’s a copying mechanism but I’m pretty sure it’s just part of my warped personalty….

Alive and kicking…. viciously

Why, oh why did I decide to graduate in chemistry!!?

And why, oh why didn’t I pay closer attention during the first year!? I’m so angry at 11th grade Cora right now!!!

Also I have math tutoring tomorrow…. AGAIN! Why? Because I flunked the written math exam. Why? Because apparently studying 10 hours a day for two weeks isn’t enough, I’m stupid and Austrian’s new testing system SUCKS!

Et tu, Sleep!?

It finally happened.

I no longer drift around the edges wondering what’s it like to be inside.

Now I finally belong.

Know what I’m talking about?

‘Course you don’t.

Let me clarify.

I had my first graduation exam nightmare. (Dun, dun, duuuun)

For weeks all anyone has been talking about are their scary dreams and how they can’t sleep and how nervous they are and blah blah blah.

Baby Steps

So these last few weeks have been kind of very much not fun (understatement of the year) and even though every day makes me feel like a slug going up hill, I plow on restlessly, because I have to. There’s no other option. Therefore in the spirit of positive reinforcement I’ve made a list of all the things I have accomplished over the last few days (small and pathetic as they may be) without Dad’s help.

The comforting embrace of numbness.

Sunlight streamed through the window.

Illuminating the blue patch of blankets where she lay.

Warming her.

Blinding her.

She shifted her arms so she could lie more comfortably on his legs.

Her Daddy’s legs.

Legs that hadn’t moved since her arrival. Legs that would never move again.

One second.

That was all it took to change her life forever.

Proof of the depth of my naivety.

Colorful lights.

Pounding music.

A wall of people everywhere she looked.

She felt a hand on her exposed shoulder. She turned. Nicole! She fell around the girl’s neck, glad she wasn’t alone.

She was shy. Nicole was not.

The blonde girl pulled her toward the dance floor. They started to dance.